The SHEEP IN THE BIG CITY Valentines Day Special
by Betty Blacklungs
Summary: ANOTHER SHEEP IN THE BIG CITY FANFIC! Chapter One: Only a Heart-BLEAT Away. PG-13 for a bit of language and situations dealing with bars.


  
The SHEEP IN THE BIG CITY Valentines Day Special.  
  
  
Chapter One:  
Only a Heart-BLEAT Away.  
  
An establishing shot of the "big city". There's a little more pink in the   
backgrounds today for some reason, and a cheerful violin is heard...   
violining in the background. The shot pans down to the street where  
a couple is walking hand in hand.  
  
NARRATOR: SPRING IN THE BIG CITY! And love is in the air! Aww.. But the   
seasons of the year NEVER affect the members of the TOP SECRET MILITARY   
ORGANIZATION!  
  
All of a sudden the Top Secret Military Organization's secret military-type   
base is shown, but a record scratch is heard that stops the violin music  
and we see the couple on the street again.  
  
MAN: It doesn't?  
  
WOMAN: How heartless! What about X-mas?! Everybody likes X-mas!  
  
The Narrator is shown in his little sound booth, looking irritated.  
  
NARRATOR: Hey-hey-hey! You made me all IRRITATED!  
  
Short clip of the author is shown at her desk, looking confused. Back to the  
Narrator.  
  
NARRATOR: You guys are just supposed to have a walk-on! It costs the Cartoon Network forty-two bucks for every unauthorized line! They wasted so much money developing Samurai Jack that they don't have anything left!   
  
MAN: Hey! I like Samurai Jack!  
  
NARRATOR: Shut up! We already spent a perfectly good 126 dollars on you!  
  
The Narrator clears his throat and adjusts his glasses. Back to the shot of  
the Secret Military Base. Little satellite spinning around and such...  
  
NARRATOR: As I was saying, nothing can nose with these nose-to-the-grindstone government brown-nosers! However, their target is a different story. Sheep has his beloved Swanky to pine after, and he is   
also is busy with his job as a television dust-bunny.  
  
We see Sheep on the set of some kind of a commercial. Directors and your average television production lackeys are hanging around. A woman with a LARGE "2" on her forehead is scene to separate her from the woman we just saw on the street. She holds a broom in her hands as Sheep hides under a large, fake looking couch. He's wearing bunny ears for effect.  
  
DIRECTOR: Action!  
  
Sheep bleats in surprise and tucks in his head and legs into his wool.  
  
WOMAN (2): Ohmigosh! Look at that dust-bunny! Maybe the OXYMORON BROOM   
will handle it!  
  
The woman whacks Sheep a few times with the broom and the dust bunny produces a few muffled bleats with each whack. By the time the director says cut we still don't see Sheep's head, but the bunny ears are wrinkled and one leg is jutted out of Sheep's wool.  
  
ANOTHER Narrator comes on to complete the commercial voice over. He speaks in a really stupid sounding voice, as you can tell by my snazzy characterization-style-kinda-typing.  
  
COMMERCIAL NARRATOR: DAAAH.. I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! BUY OXYMORON BROOMS. BECAUZ' I'M ALWAYS RIGHT, AND YOU CAN ONLY USE A BROOM I APPROVE OF WITH THE POWER OF AN OX!  
  
DIRECTOR: CUT!  
  
Back to the Narrator in his booth, looking angry. He puts the script down and sighs.  
  
NARRATOR: Ugh.. I have a feeling its going to be one of *THOSE* kind of   
fanfics tonight. Let's just see what they're doing at The Top Secret Military Organization's Secret Headquarters, all right? Sheesh.. I'm not even going to read the setup into that scene.   
  
We see the interior of the Secret Military Organization's secret headquarters. The normal gang is present minus General Specific. The plot device is on the floor in pieces and Angry Scientist is jumping on them.   
  
ANGRY SCIENTIST: SCIENTIST WITH SOME ISSUES! I am in the able to be seeing what your are in the middle of typeingnessness.  
  
SCIENTIST WHOM WE'LL CALL CRANKY: Cranky?! That is being far too cruelingnesses. Cranky?! Am I of a small baby-man-child?!  
  
PRIVATE PUBLIC: You've destroyed The Plot Device and are jumping on what remains of it and you're calling her cruel. Why did you destroy the plot device anyway?  
  
SCIENTIST WHOM WE'LL CALL CRANKY: It had given me a specialness machine to be in the catching of Sheep, when I could be in the doingitness myself. It is of the biggest insultings to attempt the helping of a Scientist with some issues when it isn't in the needing of it.  
  
PRIVATE PUBLIC: What kind of machine?  
  
SCIENTIST WHOM WE'LL CALL CRANKY: Some stupidedness kind of machine that is making all people telling the truth so they will be in the telling of us Sheep's whereabouteses. It was in the saying that the last person to have seened Sheep was a bartender. Very stupiding in the being it is, don't you not think? Sheep is not of the type to be drinking.  
  
PRIVATE PUBLIC: Where is the machine now?  
  
SCIENTIST WHOM WE'LL CALL CRANKY: What is it with all of the playing twenty-seven questionnesses?!  
  
PRIVATE PUBLIC: I'm looking for General Specific. I haven't seen him all throughout the fanfic.  
  
SCIENTIST WHOM WE'LL CALL CRANKY: General Specific was in the taking of the machine and lefted to go someplace to be in the finding of Sheep.   
  
NARRATOR: Holy shunykies! It appears that--  
  
General Specific cuts him off, but we can't see where General Specific is.  
  
GENERAL SPECIFIC: Yeah, I know. Bars, people destroying robots. Welcome to the real world.   
  
He leans a little closer.  
  
GENERAL SPECIFIC: I hear that there's even a little cussing later on in the scene I'm in. It happens to start...  
  
We see General Specific in a bar somewhere. Eating Kool-Aid Packets. (He ain't allowed to drink while he's at work, Moron!)   
  
GENERAL SPECIFIC: Right now!  
  
The bartender looks idly at the camera, then looks back down to the spotless glass he's been wiping clean for the past four hours. The rest of the bar is empty.  
  
GENERAL SPECIFIC: You know why I'm so messed up... Oh, the agony! And the ecstasy of it!  
  
For a split second we see Jimmy from Ed, Edd n' Eddy lean on screen.  
  
JIMMY: I taught him that one!  
  
BARTENDER: Why are you so messed up..?  
  
GENERAL SPECIFIC: Because late at night...  
  
BARTENDER: Yeah..?  
  
GENERAL SPECIFIC: When no ones around...  
  
BARTENDER: Get on with it, already!  
  
GENERAL SPECIFIC: I like to...  
  
BARTENDER: WHAT!?  
  
GENERAL SPECIFIC: I like to take off my pajamas... and wear.. SHEEP WOOL!  
  
General Specific starts crying uncontrollably. He lays his head on the bar, sobbing. The Bartender looks disgusted.  
  
BARTENDER: You need to see a shrink, man.  
  
General Specific lifts his head and his face has cherry red blotches from the kool-aid that spilt on the bar.  
  
GENERAL SPECIFIC: But its so wonderfully ITCHY!   
  
Now the Red Guy from Cow & Chicken pops up.  
  
RED GUY: And *I* taught him that one!  
  
NARRATOR: Enough cameos... geez!   
  
BARTENDER: Freak! I think you've had enough... What am I saying?! You aren't even drinking. GET OUT! Damn loiterers!  
  
We see General Specific run out of the bar, little sprinkles of kool-aid leaving a trail as he goes, but he stops at the door.  
  
GENERAL SPECIFIC: This is what you get for saying the word, "damn" and knocking this fanfic up to PG-13!  
  
General Specific pulls a small red box out. It has a dinky little pink heart on the side and says, "TRUTH" in large, cheesy lettering. He pushes the button sticking out of the top and a psychobelly-freakout sort of effect is put on the bar, adding all sorts of colors, Sonny and Cher and a dancing clome or two.  
  
GENERAL SPECIFIC: Now, tell me! When did you last see Sheep!?  
  
The Bartender has little swirlies in his eyes and is having entirely too much of a good time without any chemical imbalances to speak of.  
  
BARTENDER: ...saw him at shuttles r us with my family on vacation ...just got back yesterday...  
  
GENERAL SPECIFIC: Got it! I'm going to Shuttles R Us!  
  
He takes his index finger off the button on the box and everything returns to normal.  
  
BARTENDER: That was shiney, man. Press the button again. It makes me feel all frilly!  
  
General Specific rushes out the door.  
  
NARRATOR: YEOWZER! It appears that the author has let us discover MORE about General Specific than ANYONE has EVER wanted to know! Judging that in the next chapter we'll be able to see a spiffy shuttle storage facility, and that Sheep will most likely SHOW UP, keep that modem fired up for the spine-warping, diaphragm-jiggling CHAPTER TWO: THE REAL BAAAGINNING OF THE FANFIC! ...There was already a pun on the word "Beginning" in the actual show, but whatever.  
  
-  
  
Lemme know what you all thought so far. Don't worry, I'll finish it! I already have Chapters 2 and 3 nearly done. 


End file.
